Monday, March 29, 2010

The battle continues...and the punches come hard

What a tough few days for my brave prince.

On Weds he walked into this hospital with the most amazing attitude - smiling, joking with the staff, taking walks every day, spending time on the exercise bike....basically doing EVERYTHING in his power to stay strong for as long as possible.

On Thursday the chemo started - still strong, still smiling

On Friday - in hospital but out for Friday night dinner at his mom's with the family

On Saturday he started to feel the impact a bit - nausea, legs getting weaker, but still determined to push himself. So he actually got to come home for a couple of hours - to see the kids, have dinner with the family.

On Sunday we spent the evening together in the hospital - and still my amazing husband wanted to head out (in the rain) to breathe some fresh air.

Today was rough - 2 rounds of total body irradiation - basically he lies still for 45 minutes (each time) and beams of radiation travel over his body.

He is really feeling the downward slope now, and I can see it. He is exhausted and sleeping most of the day, nauseous (and vomiting), legs are weak, his body is restless, eyes are getting glossy, he is slurring his words.

And yet, he still turns to me, smiles and says "You are beautiful". What can I say?

It's really tough to see him suffer this way, and to know that it will only be getting worse before it gets any better. When he smiles now he tears up "it's not fair". That's right my love, it's not fair. Not fair at all. In fact, it F%##%%ing sucks!

"But I will beat this...keep my eyes on the goal" - still the hockey player at the end of the day :)

Tomorrow is TRANSPLANT DAY. They expect the stem cells to "arrive" in the evening and the procedure to happen tomorrow night. Then (apparently) he will feel much worse as his body (hopefully) accepts this new immune system.

He will be in isolation after tomorrow night. So tomorrow day I will bring the kids for a visit, and then we will rely on Skype for a while.

Thanks again to everyone for your continued support...please think of us tomorrow.

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