Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The wrong words

Drs pulled us into a meeting today:

"If there is anyone that needs to see Brandon then they probably should come soon. Bring the kids tomorrow."

And what the fuck am I supposed to tell my 2-year old and 4 year-old? What the fuck am I supposed to say?


  1. Tell them their Daddy is the bravest man you know. Tell them the truth - that Daddy's body got very sick and that Daddy loves them very much. Taly, I know more about what to say to kids than I know what to say to you -- there are no words that can comfort right now so all I will write is that I'm thinking of you. Love Cousin, Audrey from Boston

  2. Love u buddy.

    Jonny Ballgame

  3. Taly- I'm so, so, so sorry. Holding you and your family close in my heart.

  4. Oh Taly .... I am praying. Much love Brita

  5. It's true... tell them the truth....... Their Daddy is a real life superhero who is the strongest and bravest man anyone knows; but is also a Prince from a fairy-tale for he always believes in love. No matter what happens whether near or far their Daddy will always love and protect them.

    Naomi Gerstel

    "no words" can describe how we are feeling for you and the entire family.

  6. Hang in there Taly. Tell them daddy is a very special person, and so many people love him. Tell them that you love them. What more can be said? Hang in there.

    With love,
    Michael and Kate

  7. Taly,
    So glad that Sharon and I just got to see you today. We just arrived in Detroit(midnight)at our hotel. We were thinking of you and praying for you all along the way as we drove.

    We will pray for you tommorow morning as you talk with Dana & Kobe. In response to your blog question...If I were in your place this is what I would most likely say to my girls...

    ~~Daddy loves you so much and wants more than anything to be here with you. He wants to hold you...tickle you and play with you but he can't because he is very sick. The doctors are trying everything they can to help daddy feel better, but they don't know what else to do for him & nothing seems to be helping daddy get better. Let's ask God together right now if He will show mercy on us and on daddy and heal daddy.[and then I would pray with them something like this...]
    "...Lord God, creator of Heaven and Earth - we come to you because You are all-powerful and we know that you created daddy and that you love daddy and that daddy's life is in your hands. Thank you for loving us enough not to take daddy when he first got sick. And now we ask for your help. Please heal daddy's kidneys and liver and help them start working again. Please spare his life and return him to us. But Lord, if you ever decide that it's time to take our daddy, then one day when we are older, please help us understand why."

    ...anyway, since you asked, that's along the lines of what I might say to girls and what I would do with them.

    Taly, Sharon and I could not love you and Brandon more - even if you were our own flesh and blood. Please give our love to Joe and Arlene...and to your sister as well!

  8. Brandon, (my little 'bro), a few nights ago, I dreamed that you came to Pensacola for a visit. In the dream, you were still sick, but you looked great and were getting better. I got the biggest hug from you, and you chatted with us about all sorts of things. When I woke up, I felt like I had REALLY seen and hugged you, and we had a great visit.

    Brandon and Taly, I pray every day, (and plead and hope and beg) for a miracle, for healing, strength, courage, and for you to get better and win this battle. You and your family are on my mind and in my heart, and I love you very much.

    Darlene McAllister
    Your big sis in Pensacola xo

  9. Tell them in simple words what cancer is.. that it's a horrible disease that takes over people's body and daddy tried very very hard to fight the bad cancer bugs that were in his body.. he fought for the kids.. he fought for the family... but the bad bugs took over and will take him to a place where all the fairy godmothers are called Heaven.. In Heaven daddy is healthy and will always be there with them in the stars, in the sun, and in the sky. Happy and smiling and listening to them..
    Taly, I am here if you need help to talk to them if you can't.. They wont understand it fully yet.. just be careful to tell them he's asleep because Dana will be scared to go to sleep and not wake up.
    Whatever you say, you'll be okay. More questions will come as they grow up and then so will the information..
    Love you all.
    Netaly & David

  10. Dear G-d,
    Please protect Taly and her children from this pain. Please, please heal Brandon.
    Taly has a deep glowing love for her husband which is obvious in every word she writes. I humbly ask that the awful, terrifying path that she is walking with her family, and particularly Brandon, be smoothed. May the answers be clear and bring a fragile peace to their lives. Please find the time for everything that is necessary and protect them from excessive, avoidable pain. I hold them all in my heart.
    Please, please G-d - we need a miracle.

  11. I don't know that it would be the best for them to see him such a state. He isn't the DADDY that they know and love. It is important for them to remember him in a positive light. My thoughts go out to you and your family. he is a dear friend

  12. Taly, words cannot express our sorrow. We hate, hate, hate that you are all going through this. I don't know what to say, no one should ever have to say anything about this to their children, it is not fair. I will be thinking and praying for Brandon and for you.

    Love, Cristina and Daniel

  13. Dana and Koby know daddy as the greatest man alive and they are right. They know he is strong, since his tickling games with them while flipping them upside down always brought them to laughter. They know that he is loving as his cuddly hugs and kisses always made them feel secure. They know that he is smart, as he always answered all of their questions-including why does Dora always ask the map for directions:). And they know that he is amazing, as he is always there for friends, family and their mommy and them. Those special moments they shared together today was so special- at this time - let them enjoy the love they felt from Brandon and the love and strength they gave him. Let's cherish all posotive moments for now and allow them to enjoy their great daddy!