Monday, March 29, 2010

Passover - Time for a Miracle

Tonight is Passover, and we celebrate the miracle of God as he freed the Jews from the bondage and hardship of slavery in Egypt. He sent our hero Moses to confront Pharaoh to "let me people go". And after some heavy convincing (or "punishments" as Dana calls them), the Jews are free. They still have some obstacles to overcome as they travel to the promised land, but the "good" do not falter and eventually they reach their destination.

We are not religious at all, but we are traditional and we do celebrate the Jewish holidays. I can not help but parallel the story of Passover to Brandon's current journey...

He too is suffering through a horrible hardship that is tearing his body apart. But his strong spirit and will to beat this (my hero) keeps fighting our villain. And I, together with all our friends and family are there shouting with all our might "Let him go! Let him be free of this!" Tomorrow help arrives in the form of a transplant. And the road ahead is long, and we will meet obstacles in our path, but the good (and Brandon is the BEST) will reach the ultimate destination - a FULL lifetime of health with his family.

So God - As you parted the sea for the Jews to cross through and drowned the Egyptian army, open Brandon's body to the new marrow, and drown any remaining cancer in the process. As you provided hope and signs when the Jews' belief weakened, provide hope to Brandon when the tough days present themselves. As you strengthened them in the desert and brought them home, strengthen Brandon and bring him home.

And next year, when we all sit down to read about the Jewish miracle of Passover, let us look back and recount our own very personal miracle of Passover.


The battle continues...and the punches come hard

What a tough few days for my brave prince.

On Weds he walked into this hospital with the most amazing attitude - smiling, joking with the staff, taking walks every day, spending time on the exercise bike....basically doing EVERYTHING in his power to stay strong for as long as possible.

On Thursday the chemo started - still strong, still smiling

On Friday - in hospital but out for Friday night dinner at his mom's with the family

On Saturday he started to feel the impact a bit - nausea, legs getting weaker, but still determined to push himself. So he actually got to come home for a couple of hours - to see the kids, have dinner with the family.

On Sunday we spent the evening together in the hospital - and still my amazing husband wanted to head out (in the rain) to breathe some fresh air.

Today was rough - 2 rounds of total body irradiation - basically he lies still for 45 minutes (each time) and beams of radiation travel over his body.

He is really feeling the downward slope now, and I can see it. He is exhausted and sleeping most of the day, nauseous (and vomiting), legs are weak, his body is restless, eyes are getting glossy, he is slurring his words.

And yet, he still turns to me, smiles and says "You are beautiful". What can I say?

It's really tough to see him suffer this way, and to know that it will only be getting worse before it gets any better. When he smiles now he tears up "it's not fair". That's right my love, it's not fair. Not fair at all. In fact, it F%##%%ing sucks!

"But I will beat this...keep my eyes on the goal" - still the hockey player at the end of the day :)

Tomorrow is TRANSPLANT DAY. They expect the stem cells to "arrive" in the evening and the procedure to happen tomorrow night. Then (apparently) he will feel much worse as his body (hopefully) accepts this new immune system.

He will be in isolation after tomorrow night. So tomorrow day I will bring the kids for a visit, and then we will rely on Skype for a while.

Thanks again to everyone for your continued support...please think of us tomorrow.