Saturday, April 3, 2010

And here we go...

Now day 4 post transplant and just as "promised" Brandon is feeling worse by the hour. He has officially stopped eating, is vomiting at a consistent click and is quite weak. Also his blood pressure is through the roof and his pulse is low (not sure what that means - the dr.s don't seem too concerned). Mentally, he has very little patience, he is upset and very antsy and anxious.

Hard for my love to go through, hard for me to watch.

He wishes for and welcomes sleep, as that is a temporary escape from reality. In his own words "I wish I could wake up on June 1 and walk out of here feeling great."

The kids can no longer see him as he is now in isolation for a few weeks. We have skype, but Brandon has little patience and I'm not sure this is the best way for the kids to see him. They do talk to him on the phone, and yesterday Dana let him now that "I like it better when you are at home daddy".

The crazy part is that factually he is going to get a lot worse in the next 2 weeks. And that makes this really tough for everyone! I feel so bad for him - he does not deserve this! Nobody deserves this, but he has had enough!

Yesterday a woman came to visit Brandon - she was here to say hi to the nurses as she celebrates her 1 year post transplant. She looks and feels great and is living life back to normal. I am looking forward to having Brandon visit this ward in the same way next year.

So I sit with him now as he finally sleeps. Too bad 'True Love's Kiss' can not yet work its magic. But soon enough...