Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Tough Day (with pics)

We arrived at the hospital this morning and went to see Brandon with his doctors (not the kids). They asked him to stick out his comprehension of what they wanted, just a bland stare back at the Dr. Then the Dr stuck out his tongue and Brandon could copy him. They asked him to move his right leg - no movement. Move his left leg - nothing. He could not speak, and when he did he just repeated the same word over and over. I had to leave the room.
Then we met with the Drs - no change - still has liver and kidney issues, not sure what is going on with his brain but suspect the virus is still there. Brandon's brother asked the tough questions - we heard the tough answers. FUCK! Timeline? No idea. FUCK!

Now it was time to take in the kids (who were waiting downstairs with my parents). Brandon's amazing nurse Liann got them special robes, blew up the rubber gloves like balloons (and colored them like bunny rabbits), and gave Dana a pink stethoscope (huge hit). So now, dressed as "doctors", they were ready to go see daddy.

Wow - what a beautiful scene - Brandon gave a huge smile when he saw them. We put the kids on the bed - Koby jumped straight into his arms and would not let go. Dana, a bit more timid, laid back but slowly cuddled up to daddy and touched his new soft hair. And Brandon hugged them, and kissed them, and squeezed them. And though he could not talk, his eyes glowed with love.

And I was smiling.
And I was miserable...heartbroken.
The thought creeps in - could these be the last moments? Are these the last pictures?

If g-d was watching he would know that Brandon belongs with us and needs to get back home to the kids. They need him and I need him. We are meant to be together as a family!

The rest of the day was tough. Brandon was not responsive and could not really speak, It's also tough to tell if he hears you because the eyes just stare ahead, no sign of comprehension. And there are moments when he gets so agitated and he tries to get out of the bed...which he can't.

At the end of the day he sat up and I helped him. He leaned towards me, put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a couple of sweet kisses. He looked at me and smiled. And I smiled back and told him I love him so much.

This fairytale story needs a happy ending. It's time for the good witch to appear and save the day. And allow the prince to return home.

It needs to happen, it just has to!